I think maybe I will switch around some things on this platform of my thoughts. And I might just finish that short story I did. I really have no excuse as to why I haven't finished it sooner but I don't know I just haven't felt like it. Really I haven't felt like doing much of nothing to be honest with you. It might have to do with the fact that I've stopped writing and getting all the crazy ramblings in my head out. I kind of feel better already just typing this. I don't know how to explain my connection to writing, it's been something I've been doing for as long as I can remember and for some reason I can better express myself through pen and paper or in this case keyboard and blog. My mind is a complex highway that hardly ever stops moving and to let it all sit in my head and marinate can't healthy. I think the first thing I'll change is the background and then perhaps work on the short story I can't seem to get my mind around.
To elaborate on today's quote.
I have dreams.
We all should. They give you so much to look forward to, to keep you sane when you are closer to insanity.
Goals, I have them too.
We set them to give our lives meaning. To know we can achieve something, anything we put our minds to.
But when life doesn’t go the way you planed it, like it usually does what are we to do then? I understand the idea behind the two but I wonder sometimes what’s the use of even having them? Life won’t just give them to you but it will make it harder to get in the same vicinity of them, let alone obtain them. Are they things to make life more bearable? Or could they just be one of life’s cruel jokes? I don’t have the answers but I know I shouldn’t give up on either one.
No Manual
The sun is high in the sky
But I'm so dark inside
Emptiness is my mind
Nowhere to go or hide
The age old question
What am I to do with my life?
Is the only thing I'm thinking of
The choices I make now
Can affect me forever
What am I to do?
I have no clue
Why is there no manual?
To guide you through this ride
How are you to survive
In such a trying time
The heat of the sun is beating on you
But you can only feel the cold in you
No More Sun
What do you do when you can' t cry anymore, when it isn't possible to shed a tear, your body just won't allow it.Tired and frustrated, it doesn't even make any sense being depressed anymore. You are so far past that, you don't even know what to call it. Swelling stress headaches only have you feeling worse.
And there seems like there is no end in sight. How are you to manage and exist, cause really that is all your doing isn't it?When the weather reflects your gloomy mood, there's no sunshine here today.
Will there ever be again?
Sour Lemonade
Closed in spaces
Dark, damp places
Longing to be free
By gods good graces
Lonely thoughts
That take over your mind
Willing you back
To the trenches
Of the mind
Running, running but can't escape
Fighting, Fighting but will not break
Why is life the way it is?
Why must we suffer, even the kids
They say when life gives you lemon's make lemonade
But what happens when the lemons don't make the grade
Spoiled and rotten much like society
What are we to do then?
In this time of impropriety
Pop open do my eyes, awaking from a deep sleep. Takes me a moment to gather myself while I realize the time, the dead of night. When most things are lost in sleep I lay awake..thinking..my mind moves at such a rampant rate, it's a wonder with my horrible direction i never get completely lost in it. Staring up at the ceiling, always am i analyzing life's meaning. What is my purpose, what was i put here to do? Questions i ask myself daily, answers I wonder if I'll ever know. Life is ever changing though, so might be my answers....... My eyelids start to get heavy and thoughtless dreams hover over me. I can feel the sleep surrounding me, but i know this conversation is never over. My mind and I will continue to have this battle but for tonight it is done. I will not wake again until i feel the sun.
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